15
Sep
Why would you spend time and energy on demanding, difficult, undermining, and destructive people?
Author: admin | Category: difficult peopleEver question why you spend all your time and energy on demanding, difficult, undermining, and destructive people in your lives and take for granted those who are loving, caring, and committed to you?
Like dealing with a parent who cared more about their social lives and ignored their children’s emotional needs. Or warming up to a person who is cold to you just trying to win their favor.
I see this behavior all the time and it confuses the snot out of me.
They are trying to fix something in their past and sacrificing their future.
September 15th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Sometimes you just have to. I don’t try to win over cold people I just try to avoid them honestly. I work in a hospital with children and have to deal with "crazed" parents more than I care to admit. There isn’t anything I can do about it, it’s part of my job. You just "turn the other cheek" so to speak. If I am not working I just ignore people like that. I have better things to do with my time. Even doing nothing is better to me than wasting my energy on negativity.
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September 15th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
I suppose we spend more time on demanding and difficult people simply because their needs take longer to sort out. We try to sort out where it hurts, and ignore the rest - just like we only notice where the shoes pinches.
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September 15th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
yeah..i agree…it’s confusing why i do it, but i do it…i don’t know why but i guess it’s simply because i need those people. i just try to tolerate them. maybe i took more important people for granted because i once had the assurance that they won’t leave me.
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September 15th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Some people are under the impression that they are not worthy of kindness. Those are the people you are talking about, who strive to gain acceptance from those who are clearly either not willing or not able to be nice. It’s really just low self-esteem, and mean, destructive people tend to prey on this type of person.
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September 15th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
I used to question it until i read books on "toxic" people. Life’s too short to have to deal with those individuals. Concentrate on those in your life who build you up.
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experience
September 15th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
I do not do so unless I have no choice.
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will t
September 15th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Yes, in spiritual journey, it is called the elephant offense. They call it elephant offense because it is a big offense that has likely been ignored. Offense towards a Vaisnava, or a pure devotee of the Lord. Since the degrading age of Kali began 5000 years ago this existed. It symbolicaly started with a King who was a pure devotee doing some thing that translated in to disrespecting a Sanyas (renounced) person by the son of that Sanyas ( or renounced ). The son then cursed the king and it all began. It is something that each individual must be most careful about. It can drag you down for lifetimes. There are three modes of material nature. Goodness, Passion and Ignorance. In each person one of these modes is more dominant. In a Philosopher for instance Goodness, In a politician Passion and in an Alcoholic Ignorance. The destructive people (depending on what their demands are and how you are defining their demands) can also be under the mode of Ignorance. If you want to transcend all that for your eternal happiness. Then you MUST swallow any anger. Anger needs to be swallowed and nothing else. So if you get angry while dealing with them you have already lost. This is a very difficult thing to do practically. Especially if you live in a city. However there is a simple method by which you can achieve this. I say simple because the more difficult an age the simpler the solution. Feel free to e-mail if you like to know about it.
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Bagavat Gita as it is by SrilaPrabhupada.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:10 am
I used to socialize with people who I knew were involved in Collins submarine computerization job.
They never told me, or ever suggested it, but I knew that one or two of the people they were working with were as you describe.
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September 16th, 2009 at 12:37 am
They are trying to fix something in their past and sacrificing their future.
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